And so we wait

Dear Spud,
I just wanted you to know that I love you and am thinking about you. They said this part... the waiting to get matched... would be the hardest part, and they were right!

I try to keep myself distracted and not obsess, but you cross my mind a thousand times a day.

Lately, I feel like God/whatever Higher Power you pick to believe in, is sending Daddy and I lots of signs that we are on the right path with this adoption. We see little ones now and start wondering what you will look like. Two of the kiddos that are in my daycare right now are twins and they are just the most beautiful little boys. And there are two baby girls I have subbed for that have just this mass of hair and the chubbiest thighs. The other night on the phone, your Nanny was talking about how if you are a little girl, we will all be learning how to do little black baby hair. Confession: this is one of the biggest fears your Daddy and I have with the adoption. Daddy says if you are a boy, he'll just keep your hair really short like his.

This is the song that plays in my mind whenever I think of you. It is from the band The Moody Blues.

"I Know You're Out There Somewhere"

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

The mist is lifting slowly
I can see the way ahead
And I've left behind the empty streets
That once inspired my life
And the strength of the emotion
Is like thunder in the air
'Cos the promise that we made each other
Haunts me to the end

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

The secret of your beauty
And the mystery of your soul
I've been searching for in everyone I meet
And the times I've been mistaken
It's impossible to say
And the grass is growing
Underneath our feet

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

[Interlude:]
You see I know you're out there somewhere
O yes I know you're out there somewhere
You see I know I'll find you somehow
O yes I know I'll find you somehow

the words that I remember
From my childhood still are true
That there's none so blind
As those who will not see
And to those who lack the courage
And say it's dangerous to try
Well they just don't know
That love eternal will not be denied

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

Yes I know it's going to happen
I can feel you getting near
And soon we'll be returning
To the fountain of our youth
And if you wake up wondering
In the darkness I'll be there
My arms will close around you
And protect you with the truth

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you