Checking In

Hey Spud,
On Sunday, your cousin Nathaniel was born and in just a few months your Aunt Katie will be delivering your next cousin. Daddy and I keep hoping that you will join the pack and we can have the "2011 babies."

We have been active with the agency for 2 weeks and I gotta tell you, the waiting really is the hardest part. I feel powerless and anxious. I'm trying to enjoy just being a family of three and appreciating how (relatively) easy life is. But really, I'm just ready for you to get here.

I am ready to turn Squirt's big boy bed back into a crib for you. I'm ready to snuggle and co-sleep with a tiny little one again. I'm ready to unpack the newborn car seat and all the tiny clothes. I'm ready to buy new bottles and formula again. Mostly, I'm just ready to get to know you.

Daddy and I have been going back and forth on your middle name. Your first name is pretty well set, but the middle name just isn't coming to us as easily. Last night I told Daddy that I think the reason for this is because I really want your birth mommy to help us pick. Maybe give you her last name or another family name?

Spud, I want you to always feel like Daddy and I are a team with your birth mom. I've always believed that children are best raised in a community of love and I think an open adoption is a perfect example of that.

Every night (and many times throughout the day) I think about your birth mom and what an amazing woman she must be. Since I already love you so much, I find myself in just such awe of her for creating you and picking us to be your parents.

Years from now, when you hear "your story," I want you to know how much you are wanted and loved by all of us. I jump every time the phone rings and stop breathing when it is a number not programmed in my phone. It's been 2 weeks but it feels like a lot longer. They said the average wait can be up to 9 months. I told Daddy that I'm giving myself 5 months of this waiting before I start freaking out and asking the agency what is wrong with us.

Well my little love, I need to get back to my day. Just know that Momma is thinking about you and loving you.