Apology

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. I think I got kind of bored with the 30 day challenge. Somehow "bullet point your day" just doesn't inspire me. I think the creators should have started out with those topics before going into "tell us about the time you wanted to take your own life." My music preferences just seem kind of lame after talking about my first love.

The last few days have been internally interesting.

I've been watching the tv show "Ruby" on Netflix, and am just about done with the third season. Have you seen this show? It airs on the Style Network and is about a woman on a weight loss journey. She started at over 700 pounds and it deals with her eating disorder. I have long accepted that I have an eating disorder, and have made feeble attempts at working on it. I am a compulsive binge eater, which is an addiction, just like drugs or alcohol. The difference is, I can't abstain from food the way an alcoholic or drug addict can from their drug. I am also a co-dependent. There are many 12 step programs available, but it is very difficult to get "sober," since right now eating comforts me. It is a very sick cycle and one that I worry will eventually have a devastating impact on my health and lifestyle. So the last week or so, I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching on that topic.

Another thing that has been on my mind is how people deal with grief. Yesterday, Squishy volunteered at an event here in town. I didn't really know anything about the event or the organization sponsoring it, just that it was some sort of activity for kids with special needs. Squishy called a few minutes after arriving to tell me that the founder of the organization had personally invited Squirt and I to come attend. I was pretty hesitant at first (have I mentioned in this blog that I HATE NEW SITUATIONS AND THE UNKNOWN?), but I am so very thankful that I went.

Basically,  the founder of the organization lost his son several years ago at the age of 6. Throughout his short life, the boy had been very sick and the family had struggled financially, as many families with medically fragile children do. So now, each year around his birthday, they basically through a birthday party/fundraiser. The birthday  party element includes bowling, video games, mini golf and such for kids, both with special needs and without. The fundraiser part raises money to be distributed to other families that need help with children. How amazing is that? To turn a difficult thing like losing your child into not only a celebration for other kids but also a way to give back to others left me truly in awe.