A few months ago, the randomness of life introduced me to a woman who had chosen adoption for her first born. She was really open and honest with me about her feelings and the process and such.
In our conversations, it was obvious how much she loves her child, but how she truly believes she made the right decision by selecting a family that could give him the life he deserved/she couldn't provide at the time.
There are very few instances that I could think of where a woman could carry a child for nine months, go through the emotional decision of picking an adoptive family, the pain of child birth and then stop loving that child. So based on that assumption, Spud will have a tummy mommy and maybe a dad and grandparents and siblings that love him or her. How selfish of a parent would I be to deny my child a relationship with people that love him?
The young woman that I referred to earlier recently posted on facebook that her firstborn is in the hospital with some serious medical issues. It is breaking his parents hearts, and hers. I know you don't know this little boy or his parents or his tummy mommy, but can you please keep them in your thoughts for me? Thanks!
When I read the note, I was surprised to see that she is facebook friends with his mom. How awesome is that? That is on the extremely open end of the adoption spectrum, but ideally that is what we would love. We want Spud's tummy mommy to always be apart of our family, if she is comfortable.
That is one of the big things we have learned about adoption... that the relationship we have with the birth mom is really not up to us. We told the agency what amount of contact we would be comfortable with, but it is completely possible for her to not want a connection with us. We also understand that her level of contact might change over the years, as her life situations change.
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I got an e-mail yesterday from the agency that November is National Adoption Month and November 19 is National Adoption Day. When I told Squishy that, he asked, "is that your new goal day?" Yep! So Spud, if these messages are somehow reaching your tummy mommy's heart, we would love to be matched with you in time to celebrate this year. I'm excited to add this important date to our family calendar and come up with new traditions and ways to celebrate.
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Your daddy has to go away for work for several months at a time. Whenever he is gone, I struggle with how much to tell him about what is going on at home. I want him to know all the details, but I also don't want him to feel bad about missing out on the fun, or feel bad that he can't fix the things that are going wrong.
This morning I found myself having this perfect moment. Daddy, Squirt, and I were waking up and talking and laughing. As soon as the thought, "nothing could beat this moment and feeling" entered my head, I suddenly felt your absence. I truly enjoy the life I have been given and created, but I know that it will be all that much sweeter when you are with us.
Loving you lots,
Momma
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