Looking Forward

I am not a spontaneous person. Two main reasons: I'm not genetically wired to be spontaneous AND Every time I do something spontaneous it ends up being expensive, stupid, and kinda stressful.

By nature, I am a planner. During Squishy's first two deployments, we spent the entire time apart planning dream vacations. Where to go? What to do? How to pay for it? When to go? The two trips we ended up taking in 2008 and 2009 were amazing, but by the time they actually arrived, I needed the vacation just to unwind from all the planning!

So the last few weeks have been, um, stressful. Last week I was checking out a local organization's on-line fundraising auction and stumbled upon a cruise package. A few clicks later, I had bid on the cruise. I didn't research it, I didn't run it by Squishy.. nothing, I just bid.

And then I spent a few days stressing because I didn't research, I didn't run it by Squishy... nothing. EEK!

I kept hoping that someone would outbid me and relieve my guilt, but that didn't happen. So Sunday morning, I had to confess to Squishy "hey, I spent some money" and "we are going on a cruise!"

God bless my husband, he wasn't mad at me at all. Truth be told, I think we both just need something non-adoption related to get excited about. And everything was planned for us... the dates, the departure city, the ports of call, even the cabin type. And since we already have our passports, basically we just need to throw some swimsuits in a bag and show up for 7 days of relaxation. And if he hadn't already been sold, he was def okay with it after I mentioned that one of the optional shore excursions is "horsebacking to Mayan ruins."

While we could have taken Squirt with us, an amazing family here in town, has agreed to take our child. He'll get his turn next year when we are planning a Disney cruise with our best friends. So for 7 days it will just be the hubby and I. We can have romantic meals by candlelight, stay up late at the karaoke bar, sleep in late, spend our days reading by the pool. And there is so much to do on the ship that I can't wait to try... a 2 story mini-golf course and waterslides! Plus, our last cruise had all sorts of great shows, a casino, and a spa. I'm so tempted to get a job a few nights a week just to pay for all the fun extra stuff.

So in 7 1/2 months I'm going on a cruise!!! It is still a long ways off, but I'm so excited, I just keep bouncing up and down and smiling when I think about it.

My main goal between now and then is to lose some weight. I had Squishy take some before photos of me yesterday and I promise, no one wants to see that in a bathing suit! I promise to post the before pics in a few months, when I also have some more encouraging AFTER pics to go with. ;) Is anyone else on the weight loss quest? If you live nearby, I'm always looking for a walking buddy. And if you don't live nearby, I'm always up for exchanging food journal e-mails or text messaging encouragement!

***
In adoption news, we got an e-mail yesterday that we have been pre-approved by a different agency. They require us to attend an all-day info session and then buy an application. The whole idea of switching agencies really makes me sick, because I feel like it says that I screwed up by picking our first agency. But overall, I really like our first agency.

If you have never looked into adoption, there are about a bazillion different ways that you can adopt a child from open adoption to international to foster care. After sorting through that, you need to figure out if you want to go through an agency or a lawyer. And then each agency has their own rules/time lines/ways of doing things.

For example, if we had gone with this new agency to begin with, they apparently have a lot longer wait for African American babies (the e-mail I got yesterday says up to 2 years!). Also, they do open adoptions, but would never have let it start out as open as we were with Zac's parents (no exchanging numbers in the beginning and so forth). And they apparently won't release a baby to the adoptive parents until the paperwork is signed, meaning in our case, Zac would have gone to foster care.

Overall, it sounds like this second agency is a lot more Adoptive Parent friendly, but I'm just not sure if watching out for us is the best thing for Spud 2.0.

And it might be laziness on my part, but I'm not sure I want to start all over reading another agencies manuals, learning their system, and creating another profile.

I was ready to reactivate right away and get our profile back out their for birth mom's, but Squishy needed more time, which I completely understood. The problem is, the longer we are inactive and not doing anything, the longer my brain has to question everything, and that's never a good thing.

***
In other news, Squirt and I joined "MOPS" (Mothers of Preschoolers) yesterday. I had never heard of this group until I moved to Texas and a girlfriend (Love you KP!) and I went out for coffee and spotted a group and she described them to me. Back then, I was kid free and the children seemed like holy terrors and I was a bit judgemental. Now that I have my own child, I realize the absolute need for parents (especially stay at home parents) to have a few minutes of adult time. So off to MOPS we went.

At first Squirt was not happy with me leaving him in a room full of strange kids and 2 unknown caregivers, but a few minutes in, he was absolutely fine. Squirt is a lot like me... in a small group, he is very personable and all smiles. In a crowd, he just gets overwhelmed and would much rather leave and miss out on the fun than have to deal with a bunch of people in his face.

While he was in the kids room playing (when I picked him up, there were toys everywhere, Veggie Tales on a tv, and one of the adults was leading a round of "head, shoulders, knees and toes"), I got adult time. I knew I would enjoy myself when I walked in and saw a Keurig set up (caffeine makes everything better). I chatted with some new folks, played a few games (one of which scored me a new novel), and listened to a few guest speakers talk about photography and dealing with change.

The group meets twice a month during the school year and is exceptionally cheap to participate in because it is a military MOPS group. For my fellow mommy friends that might be interested in joining MOPS near them, I do feel the need to point out that it is a Christian organization, so there was some prayers and Bible quotes, but nothing that I found too preachy.